GERMANY MAKES ARGENTINEANS CRY, TOO!

See? I told you that Messi guy was no good. You give him the broad side of a barn and he MIGHT hit it, but apparently not with a bunch of Germans standing anywhere near it. Why? It's not because Germans are scary... the real reason, the sole truth of the matter, the root cause of it, is that LIONEL MESSI IS CRAP!

Which is what I've been saying all along. The sky-high free kick simply proves it.

That's right peeps, GERMANY has finally won the World Cup. This brings their total to 4, and ties them for second place with Italy behind (cough-cough) BRASIL.

GRR-MANY 1, MESSI'S SCAPEGOATS 0
The game was scoreless up to the 112-minute mark. On a relatively harmless looking play, André Schürrle crossed for Mario Götze, who bounced the ball off his chest and one-timed it as it fell, sending it into the far side of the net just inside the post. Did I mention that Götze was a substitute for Germany in this match?

Götze proves to his manager that he's better than Messi. But then, who isn't?

It was a BEAUTY. Mario Götze made it look easy, but don't let appearances deceive you: it was pure skill that finished that lovely cross. And Argentina's keeper is no slouch (unlike their number 10 guy).

Argentina tried to pour it on immediately after, threatening the Germans on a few occasions thereafter, but it was all for naught when Lionel Messy (that's right, I said MESSY) blew what was quite possibly their best chance on a free kick by attempting to kick the ball back to his home in Argentina.

Hey Messi, the net's about a kilometer lower; thanks for coming out.

I shouldn't give Messi too hard a ride (it's all in jest, of course). The truth of the matter is that aside from Messi, Argentina lacked the quality from the rest of their team to adequately finish the meager chances they were able to manufacture. The Germans were just too good, too precise, and too deep.

The stats don't lie; the right team won this one.

Congratulations to GERMANY and all their fans. It's been a long time coming.


THE FINAL STANDINGS
First, a little explanation on bonus points.

Prior to the first match of the World Cup, you all submitted a prediction of which two teams would meet in the final, along with the result.

Bonus points are awarded as follows: 3 point for each team you picked, 1 point for the result (eg. USA to win, or BRASIL to lose), and 1 point for accurately predicting goals scored for each team.

As an example, DF forecasted:

ESP 2, GER 1

DF gets 3 points for correctly predicting Germany to be in the final match. He also gets a point for predicting that Germany would score 1 goal in the final match. But alas, he predicted Germany would lose. And he also missed out on correctly predicting Germany's opponent.

TOTAL POINTS FOR DF: 3+1=4

I commend SS for his reasonably accurate forecast of:

GER 2, ARG 1

SS receives 3 points for each team predicted, plus an additional 1 point for picking Germany to win. But he did not predict the correct number of goals for either side.

TOTAL POINTS FOR SS: 3+3+1=7

Now, since SS correctly predicted the two opponents right from the get-go, he had an opportunity. As the tournament went on, he may have seen things from both teams that could have swayed him to choose a DIFFERENT final result with his last pick. Maybe he thought Germany was just too hot for Argentina to handle. In that case, he could have picked GER 5, ARG 0.

Or maybe he thought German legs were too tired after bushwhacking the Brasilians. In that case, he could have picked ARG 3, GER 1.

In either case, his original forecast still stands. Because he was eerily prescient, he had the opportunity to double up by maintaining belief in his original forecast, or hedge his bet by reversing the outcome if he so chose. He is not obligated to choose now as he chose before the tournament began.

He ended up toeing the line.

Regardless, he didn't win. He came second.

The winner was AS.

The GERMANS WIN, AGAIN.

Here are the final results, with bonus points in parentheses:

AS		128 (4)			SS		125 (7)			JS		122 (0)
TM		122 (4)			SR		121 (0)			TC		121 (3)
BW		108 (0)			PS		103 (4)			DF		100 (4)

Congratulations to AS and SS for taking 1st and 2nd place respectively. You have earned the respect and admiration of your peers, not to mention prizes in the amounts of $76.50 and $51.00.

Congratulations also to JS for taking 1st place at the conclusion of the Group Stage. He has earned half of his entry back! Don't spend it all in one place.

And congratulations and a hearty thank you to all for taking part! Without you, of course, this pool would not exist.

Now, let us all look forward to EURO 2016, when IRELAND will re-establish itself as a MAJOR POWER by kicking some GER... errr, did I say IRELAND? I meant BELGIUM.

I'm bullish on BELGIUM.

See y'all in two years!

BRASIL NUTS

Or is that: BRASIL, NUTS!!! Yeah. That's not a question.

The Dutch dominated the hosts, and BRASIL didn't even find the back of the net in an ORANGE ROUT. It ended with jack-squat for the hosts, and 3-0 for the Netherlands.

'BOOYAH, BITCHES!' Robin van Persie shows the Brazilians how they kick it in the Low Country.

But who cares, right? It was only for third place, and history has a way of remembering only those teams that WIN. And on that note...

GERMANY 2, ARGH-ENTINA 1
That Messi guy might pot one, or maybe one of his more skilled team-mates will get it. Regardless, there is nothing that can top GERMAN precision. One goal is not enough for the Argentineans to defeat destiny.

Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise. And Germans.

Final standings will be posted TONIGHT. My money's on JS. Oh wait, my money was on me, but I have faltered somewhat since Bob left my employ to chase down mites.

And there will be bonus points added for those who predicted teams to make it to the final. Obviously some of us may look to be out of the running, but it is oh so interesting because it is oh so close.

More in store tonight, CIAO for now!

STOP... COFFEE TIME, or STOP COFFEE TIME?

BRASIL 2, NETHERLANDS/HOLLAND/LOWER-THAN-LOW COUNTRY 1
Brasil is pissed off. Their captain, Thiago Silva, is back. And hopefully they'll have learned their lesson against the mighty GERMAN ONSLAUGHT (really, there are quite a few more POWERFUL, very scary words to describe it, but I digress).

They'll have much better composure this time around and the Brasilians' talent and superior skill on the ball will overwhelm the Dutchies. Third place BELONGS to the host nation.

Either that OR the nightmares remain persistent, with an early goal by Holland putting the Brasilians back on the couch quivering.... But I have to believe Brasil will respond and give their people a tiny consolation prize. It's not first, but at least they'd be one of only two teams to go out of the World Cup with a win in their final match.

Gesundheit

"So Brasil will have a difficult go of it today." 

That's how I ended my post yesterday before Germany tagged Brazil with its WORST LOSS EVER in competition: 7-1. I suppose I have a talent for understatement.
 

Team Brasil, in happier times. 

Horrifying, shocking, humiliating were some of the words used to describe the massacre that took place. Little Brazilian boys cried. Grown men cried. Heck, just about every fan of Brasil regardless of gender was crying yesterday.

'Und PRESTO!' Mueller works his magic, scoring the first goal of the match while Julio César can only watch.

Germany were ruthlessly efficient with the ball. Brasil had good chances early, but they seemed to lack the poise the Germans displayed in abundance. Brazilian defender in place to thwart a shot? No problem, Germany had two other guys open and waiting for the pass. 

Brasil's apparent issues were defensive in nature (D'UH!!!), and Germany wasted no time in taking advantage. They stunned Brasil with their second goal, and then followed that second goal up with another 3 in the next 6 minutes to put the match completely out of reach. It was like hiding an Easter egg by eating eat. No way are the kids going to find that.

The under-rated André Schürrle celebrates his wicked-awesome, dirt-on-the-coffin, top-shelf goal that put Germany up 7-0.

'If the Earth could come up and swallow them, they'd be happy at the moment' went the in-game commentary by Peter Drury after Germany's 6th goal. And he was probably right.

Brasil hadn't lost a competitive match on home soil since the day before the 'Thrilla in Manila.' What? You don't know what that is? That's because it was in 1975 when Muhammad Ali met Joe Frazier for the heavyweight boxing title. But many of us don't have memories that go stretch back that far. Heck, I already have memories fading from the Leafs last playoff appearance.

'Jeebus Cripes, make it STOPPPPPPPPP!!'

But all of Brasil will remember yesterday, if for all the wrong reasons.


CHARLIE BROWN'S PICK OF THE DAY
If I recall correctly, good ol' Chuck Brown loved yelling out ARG! He MUST have been a fan of Argentina then, right? 

Oh, hold on. It seems Charlie Brown would more often than not cry out AUGH! or AAUGH! but not ARG, so I suppose the day will NOT belong to Lionel Messi and the gang. In fact, Lionel Messi will likely be the one yelling AAUGH! when the Orangemen put the boots to Argentina.

DUTCHIES 2, MESSI 1

Messi will bag a goal early, but the Dutchies will come back strong, putting Argentina where they belong; which is the match for third place. There, Argentina can make Brazilians truly miserable (at least the ones who are still paying attention) by kicking them into a 4th-place finish on their own soil.

So you heard it here. Argentina are the definitive favourites, but this guy says that Holland will finally avoid choking, missing players or not.

We're headed for an all-European World Cup Final... in Brasil.

Welcome to the SEMI-FINALS

Good day, and welcome to the semi-finals.

The Dutch needed a bit of luck to get past Costa Rica, but ultimately survived and made it to the next round. Ditto Germany, although they did themselves a huge favour by doing it during REGULATION. Danke, Deutschland!

Elsewhere, Messi continues to show how much of a true amateur he really is, relying on his team-mates to get his side past MIGHTY BELGIUM. Seriously, where would Argentina be if not for that guy, you know... what's-his-name, the one who scored that goal 8 minutes in? Ah well, you get the idea.

Brasil also escaped to the semi-finals, competing hard with Colombia in the most evenly-played match of the quarter-finals. Dubbed 'Battle: Coffee' by pundits (okay, really only by me), Brasil made it past Colombia without the need for extra-time, but also without one of their best players as Neymar will miss out on the rest of the World Cup due to an injury sustained when Juan Zuniga crashed into the Brazilian from behind with the ball nowhere in sight just minutes from time.

'If I'm going down, I'm taking as many of you bastards with me!'

The absence of Neymar could make things easier for Germany, as the young Brazilian superstar had scored 4 of his team's goals to this point in the World Cup. Of course, Brasil is loaded with one-name superstars, so now Germany will just have to plan around the rest of them. 

And that match takes place today, by the way, at 4:00 EDT... which brings me to my next point.

SEMI-SOLID QUASI-STATIONARY PICKS OF THE DAY
Sorry, that title is misleading. That should read 'PICK' of the day.

GERMANY 2, BRASIL 1
This is likely THE most anticipated match of the tournament, pitting the two nations with the most World Cups between them against each other. I don't know if Brasil is capable of going without a goal in this World Cup, so they'll likely get at least one. 

But Germany is a formidable TEAM, relying on no single player to score for them (Mueller, cough-cough, Mueller), so they'll likely get more than enough to beat the host nation and move on to the final. It certainly doesn't hurt them that Brasil will not only be without Neymar, but also their captain, Thiego Silva.


So Brasil will have a difficult go of it today.

BULLISH ON BELGIUM

TINTIN'S PICKS DU JOUR
NETHERLANDS 2, COSTA RICA 0
Los Ticos are in tough. They've surprised everyone up to this point, but this is one match they truly have no hope in winning. Expect Costa Rica to weather a Dutch attack competently in the early going, but ultimately succumb to superior skill and size. Costa Rica will be lucky to keep the score this low.

BELGIUM 2, LIONEL MESSI 1
I think a fair number of people are overlooking the Belgians, perhaps because of this image:

But I think that's going to work in Belgium's favour. It certainly isn't the smart choice, as NOBODY is favouring Belgium with the exception of yours truly.

And considering this 'Messi' (if that is his REAL name) fellow actually plays on a half-decent team, the Belgians have their work cut out for them. However, also consider also that Belgium has UNDERPERFORMED during this World Cup.

That's right. The Belgians are an attacking team, known more for their goal-scoring than their defensive approach. But that defensive approach has them through to the quarter-finals. So what if all their goals have come after the 70th minute, and mostly from substitutes?

It's all going to change today. Argentina will have difficulty scoring if their precocious number 10 fails to find the net, and their defense is suspect. Today, MESSI MEETS HIS MATCH.

Beer and waffles for the win. And chocolate, did I mention chocolate?

CLASH OF THE KAFO!!!

Here are my quick picks of the day as we get set to watch the two caffeinated giants of South America do battle in the quarter-finals. Brasil has been uninspiring, while Colombia has played exciting football.

Can Los Cafeteros take out the hosts without going to the double-double, the extra-extra, the extra-fine grind of the PK shootout?

In today's other matchup, France and Germany get set to renew acquaintances. Germany have played well on the attack, but have not scored as often as they would like.

I would argue the reverse for France, who have not been exceptional by any stretch of the imagination, but have scored by the bushel (the Ecuador match notwithstanding).

Can Les Bleus tough it out, sticking a sabot in the mighty German machine to make it to the semi-finals?
 
Have we seen the last of extra-time and PK shootouts? Will I ever get to sleep?

Without further ado, here are my...

ESPRESSO PICKS OF THE DAY
GERMANY 2, FRANCE 0
France may actually get lucky and score one here, but I doubt it. The Germans are consistent and persistent in their play, and as long as they fail to see any red in this match, they are a safe bet to advance to the next round. France will make a go of it, but will ultimately fail in their efforts.

It should be a great match.

COLOMBIA 2, BRASIL 1
Brasil just BEING Brasil means that they get a goal, but as anyone who watched their last match against Chile can attest, it wasn't necessarily the better team that won. Brasil can be had, and what better pick than a Colombian medium roast that plays bolder than at first glance? Okay, bad metaphor, but you get the idea.

Brasil is favoured, but this will be Colombia's day in the sun.

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

DeLoreans are SOOOO fast...

I drove home in an odd-looking silver car with doors that open up, like wings. That was after 9pm yesterday and now it's past 11am the next morning. YOU do the math.

So there is WAY too much intrigue going on with these matches. So much extra time, so many late goals. Merci, France, for ending it ON TIME, yet still making it dramatic. THAT takes skill.

GERMANY 2, ALGERIA 1
And speaking of skill, Germany dominated possession, at one point limiting the Algerians to just 27% of time with the ball. Hey Germany, get a room!

Andre Schuerrle celebrates scoring Germany's first goal. It'll probably go down as the most under-appreciated of the tournament, a behind the back, off the heel shot that fooled the Algerian keeper who was just a touch slow to react as it deflected across the net and in. The Algerian keeper was the only reason his team was still in it to that point.

It ended a little closer than that (63:37), but Germany had 22 shots on target to just 7 for Algeria. And most of those shots for Algeria came in the extra mini-halves, which, incidentally, just so happens to be when all the goals were scored.

The Algerian keeper was fantastic. This match didn't go on for so long because Germany under-performed; their play was spot on. No, the only reason this match lasted so long was because number 23 for Algeria didn't want it to end.

Too close and too interesting for my tastes, but this is shaping up to be one heckuva tournament.

I wonder how Steve's doing this morning...

FRANCE 2, NIGERIA 0
They left it late, but Les Bleus scored a pair of quickies before the game could go into extra-extra time, saving us all some stress. The French know they don't get paid for overtime, but the extra energy expenditure required DOES tax the system somewhat. <crickets>

Nigeria, still getting used to what it looks like when the ball enters the net, admire a goal by Paul Pogba of France. Pogba scored on a header just before extra time in the second half.

Actually, this one should never have been in doubt. The fact that it went so late until France scored is more of an indictment of just how uneven France's play has been.

Come on France, you're getting on my nerves.

THE FORCE
I'm going off program, putting away the targeting computer. I'm relying on nothing more than whimsy and instinct to shove that proton torpedo into the exhaust port (don't say it) and blow the Death Star to smithereens.

We'll see just how the strong the FORCE is with this one, when today's outcomes match my...

JEDI PADAWAN PICKS OF THE DAY
THE SWISS 2, LIONEL MESSI 1

Does Argentina grow coffee? No? Do the Swiss make chocolate? Yes? Well it doesn't matter. The Swiss are taking this one regardless.

BELGIUM 2, APPLE PIE BOYS, 1
This outcome changes only if the USA scores early to put the Belgians on their heels. Otherwise, Belgium's defence will force the Yanks into overcommitting and making mistakes. These mistakes, cost them, they will. YES.