ECUADOR: SICK OF THE SWISS!

Reference: this video, I'm sure Ecuador can relate.

'He's sick of the Swiss. He don't like `em.'

SWITZERLAND 2, ECUADOR 1

From Switzerland – the land of mountains, chocolate, and cuckoo clocks – comes last minute heartbreak for Ecuador.  The two teams exchanged near-identical goals off set-piece headers, and although Ecuador appeared to generate fewer chances, thanks to Switzerland’s penchant for the long shot it appeared this one was heading for a draw (oops, I did it again).

Cue late substitute Haris Seferovic.

In the last minute of extra time, a strong chance for Ecuador was stymied after a wonderful tackle by Switzerland’s Valon Behrami. The Swiss raced to the opposite end, working the ball to the far left of the field before a low cross to the near post found Seferovic, who side-footed in the winner from six yards out.

'Icky, yucky, stinky, stupid Switzerland,' mutters Alexander Dominguez, the keeper for Ecuador, as Haris Seferovic scores the winner.

But this match was not without controversy, as the Swiss had a goal disallowed at the 70-minute mark after play was ruled offside. Replays, however, showed the initial pass to be clearly ONSIDE, with the ball ultimately deflecting off a defender and finding Josip Drmic, who put the ball off the keeper and into the net.

But since the Swiss won, justice was served and nobody cares. 

NEXT!

FRANCE 3, HONDURAS 0

YELLOW CARD + YELLOW CARD = RED CARD = EJECTION!

Honduras played a good chunk of this match down a man after Wilson Palacios was ejected for receiving a second yellow at the 43-minute mark. Not that they had much of a chance anyway. Les Bleus dominated this one from start to finish, outshooting  Los Catrachos 20-4. 

'Je suis Français et vous n'êtes pas. C'est tout ce qui compte.' What is with these number 10 guys?

France won. Yay.

But of particular interest, this match not only saw the first ejection of World Cup 2014, it also saw the first use of the new goal-line technology implemented after a left-post to right-post, back-to-the-keeper shot.

The technology makes use of 14 high-speed cameras (mounted around the stadium, with 7 pointed at each goal) to track the flight of the ball, triangulating the ball’s position to determine whether or not it has completely crossed the goal-line. If the tech detects a goal, within a second an encrypted alert is sent to the referee’s watch, who can then use that alert to inform his decision.

In this case, the Honduran keeper wasn’t able to get a firm hold on the ball and bobbled it into the net briefly before getting it out. In the last World Cup, it’s almost certain the goal would have been missed.

ARGENTINA 2, BOSNIA/HERZEGOVINA 1

Lionel Messi, a relative unknown who plays as a forward for Argentina, salvaged a victory for his side with a softer-than-fresh-marshmallow goal in the middle of the second half. The forward, fortunate to even be on the team and with a face only his mother would know, somehow got lucky when 2 opposing defenders broke into a samba, the breakdown in play allowing this Messi character a clear shot at the far left post.

Number 10 for Argentina, celebrating his first (and probably last) goal of World Cup 2014. Seriously, who is this guy?

It was a glorious opportunity, and a shot only a red-shirt or a stormtrooper would miss, so I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Heck, I could have made that shot with my wrong foot while blindfolded.

Ultimately, Bosnia/Herzegovina (hereafter known as the Little Dragons) had a fair share of possession and more than twice the number of shots on target (11-5), but found a way to lose to a team of substitutes led by a no-name forward who just happened to have a horseshoe wedged firmly up his derriere. I doubt he’ll even get into another game.

WEIRD, WILD PICKS OF THE DAY:

GERMANY 2, PORTUGAL 1

NIGERIA 1, IRAN 0

USA 2, GHA 0

NOTE: Standings will be posted tonight! GO FRANCE (please, just go)!